I'm whole.

It's been a while since i can recall myself ever being this happy.

scratch that.

I've never been this happy.

Always felt like i had to change a thing.

Always felt like i wasnt good enough.

Like i had keep my skeletons locked away.

That some how all my

spiders

would escape,

and suck the marrow straight out of me.

Always felt like i was running.

From my past,

my rents,

my flaws,

my enemies.

But then theres you.

You are absolutely remarkable.

my most prized possession.

My complete and utter source of

happiness,

love,

freedom.

There aren't words to describe you.

your complete and utter

perfection.

Every hair.

Every inch.

Beautiful.

Every moment we've spent,

to every second we have yet to spend.

together?

Of course.

theres no other place I could be than

in your arms.

Safe.

I almost feel that saying

"I love you"

doesn't cover it.

Not even close.

they're just three words.

and like i said...

words cannot describe you,

what we have,

our love.

Because we're so much more than that.

it's like we're one.

not just two people,

but one whole.

No wonder i've never felt "right" my whole life.

Little did i know i was searching.

Searching for my other half.

the half that would make me complete.

You, David.

Little did i know you existed.

That i would eventually find you.

My other half.

That i could feel complete.

That someone could make me feel like i didn't always need to be striving to

change.

To hide my skeletons.

my past.

my present.

my flaws.

my belly fat (haha)

all the little imperfections that make me,

me.

Little did i know i wouldnt have to change a thing.

that someone would love me for every imperfection.

My past,

my rents,

every "flaw"

everything.

I feel like "I love you"doesn't cover it.

Because it never will.

words can only go so far,

and at some point

it's a person's actions that matter most.

In seven months you've proven me wrong.

you've shown me that "i love you" aren't just words.

they're actions. '

they're every touch,

every breath,

every kiss.

If given the chance,

I would spend the rest of my life showing you.

No longer would i strive to change,

I'd strive to show you how perfect all of your imperfections are.

how perfect you are to me.

Just as you have already done for me.

I love you David.

But I feel theres so much more than that.

That we have something more than love.

Something I'll carry till death.

I'll never let go.

I'll never be able to.

David Patrick Powell

Just a general traffic update :)

Just thought it'd be about time to write a new blog.

Haven't even had time for myself lately with everything i've been doing.

VC, FORTE!, holy cross play ( lost in seuss), and school it's self.

Though I have had time to get rid of Austin.

Mr. Toasty.

Mr. Austin Boston Cream Pie.

Though at one point in those two years he might have been my best friend in the entire world,

he was always my worst enemy.

It took a lot out of myself to give him up and completely throw him away.

But it was completely for the better.

Then there was Abe.

Mr. "Heavy core christian"

Mr. President.

who though was drop dead when it came to looks.

And i mean DROP DEAD.

5'4'', long straight shaggy brown hair.

Skinny jeans

Tank tops

ughh,

it almost makes my mouth water just thinking about him.

I call him a heavy core christian because not only was he the drummer in a hard core band,

but a christian hard core band.

and when his christian beliefs came between us,

he stood tall next to his Christ Almighty.

so tall,

he towered over me.

and when he grew too tall,

i chicken shit

and ran as fast as i could.

My immediate fist reaction was to run back to Austin.

back to everything i had known as stable.

and when he hit me with the

"you're gonna have to prove to me why exactly i should take you back"

i was determined to show him up.

work my hardest.

i wanted my baby back.

but the harder i worked,

the more i realized i didnt want him anymore.

I didnt want all the fighting and crying that came with being back with my,

one and only,

true love.

SO...

I let him go.

completely cut myself off from him.

from anything that even reminded me of him.

us,

those last two years.

and it worked.

with a lot of crying,

but it worked.

i started spending a lot of time with the fam,

and danny and john of course.

started going food shopping with ma' every week.

just the general stores.

Giant Eagle, Marc's, Aldis, BJ's.

Same ol', Same ol'.

But Bj's started becoming more and more interesting.

more eye candy if you know what i mean.

The cart boy and i would always play tag with our eyes.

must have been the most intense game of tag i've ever played.

and the cutest :)

Since he had went to Euclid i was already friends with him on the FB.

had never said one word to this kid in my whole life.

just eyes.

He was like my own little Edward in some weird childish way.

He walked around with this look of resentment printed on his face.

a look that said, "get any closer and i swear i'll shoot"

which pushed me away, yet pulled me in closer every time.

which must have been why i never said anything to him.

ever.

Till one day.

I wrote on his wall saying

" are you ever going to say hi to me? or are we just going to continue this staring contest?"

when he replied, my heart dropped.

Especially when he gave me his number and said

"text me some time."

now of course, i knew i couldnt just flat out text him as soon as i read the message.

that would be " uncool"

so i waited a few days,

and as soon as we started talking,

i knew we had really hit it off.

It's been 3 months since Auguest 14th.

we've been dating for 2.

It's been the best relationship i've had yet.

and i realized i made so many mistakes with austin.

I was telling him i loved him 2 months in.

that's a mistake i never plan to make with dave.

i'm never going to plan too far ahead.

always just going to live in the moment.

and for each moment that passes when ever we're together,

i feel myself growing closer and closer to him.

No longer does he wear his mask.

Just those clear blue eyes,

and every time they catch me,

i die,

i smile,

i cry.

i don't think i'll ever be the fist to say those first three words.

theres no turning back once they've escaped one's lips.

and you'll either fall or fly.

i think i wanna fly with this one.